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1. A MAN THAT HAS NOTHING TO OFFER EXCEPT FOR HIS MONEY.
Money is quite important in a relationship as it ensures that the financial needs of the relationship are met but the psychological, emotional, mental, physical needs as well as the spiritual names are just as important. It takes two to fulfill these needs. But if all your man could bring to the table of your relationship are currencies what happens if he becomes financially unstable, goes bankrupt or there is a financial disaster? No one prays for or wishes for crises, but how can such relationship be sustained during the storm? Some men believe all they need to do for the success of a relationship is provide financially for the woman. Now the big question is, what happens when your woman is a financial boss? what then could be of importance except your money?
The key therefore is balance. when there is no balance in all these needs, the relationship suffers and would not be able to stand the inevitable test of times.
2. A MAN THAT ONLY WISHES TO SETTLE WITH YOU AND NOT FOR YOU.
This statement might be a little bit tricky but it is real. When a man loves a lady and wants to spend the rest of his life with her it's such a nice feeling, so he decides to settle with her but what about settling for her? When a man decides to spend his life with you but thats just all about it. Your opinion or feelings is just another new invention he's not willing to subscribe to. He wants to leave his life with you but he's not interested in discovering you as another distinct unique human and not just an extension of himself. The need to settle for you and not just with you is seen in loyalty and respect.
3. A MAN THAT WANTS YOU TO LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS AND NEVER EXPECT HIM TO IMPROVE NOT EVEN FOR HIMSELF OR YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
Everyone aspires to be loved irrespective of their differences but when there are no possibilities of bringing those differences to a point of similarities where these differences are worked upon to create oneness for the sole benefit of a relationship, crisis become inevitable. No one is saying you have to change you for anybody, but if your man as much as knows he exerts some level of negativity then he should be able to consider an improvement, first for himself and then for the health of your love life. No matter how much we need people, I don't think we need to let them in and remain with so much waste coming along.
4. A MAN THAT MAKES YOU FEEL WORTHLESS OF HIS LOVE.
No one should be able to make you feel worthless as a woman. At the first instance you shouldn't even derive your worth from a man. But because when it comes to love and relationship, we can't help the feeling of worth we feel when someone we love loves us back. Therefore, if a man in the worst or best ways as possible gives you the slightest incline that you aren't worth his love or he's doing you a favour by loving you either at the beginning or in the long run in the relationship, then you should have a rethink of being with such man, because even favours don't last forever.
5. A MAN THAT LEAVES NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIS PRESENCE AND HIS ABSENCE.
Good people may not always be appreciated when they are around but a vacuum is always obvious when they aren't. No one is perfect but if your man isn't the kind that his presence in your life makes a slightest difference, then there's a need to be worried. No one is and should be the architect of your happiness but there are days when you'd really not know how to draw or design that happiness. Then your partner should at least be an inspiration for a new idea of design for your happiness.
What's more why stay in a relationship if you can be happy all by yourself?
6. A MAN THAT MAKES YOU FEEL OR TELLS YOU YOU'RE NOT WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
I don't believe in the cliche "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you then it's yours..." If you're smart enough to let me go I should be smart enough to understand you should never have had me in the first place.
7. A MAN THAT MAKES IT CLEAR HE NEEDS YOU FOR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION.
Sex is an integral part of a relationship but unfortunately if you take away sex from many relationships, we'll find out there isn't a relationship at all. If he's with you just for sexual gratification then he could as well be with 1001 other women for the same purpose and y'all ain't even a relationship in the first place.
8. A MAN THAT ONLY TELLS YOU THE WORDS "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL OR I LOVE YOU" DURING SEX.
Many today have taken the words "I love you" to illustrate how cheap talk can be. But these words aren't just mere words. A man who tells you he loves you on a regular, tends to eventually do love you, even if he initially didn't. So when you have a man who tells you these words only in a moment of ecstasy, well, you just have to know you're in for a total hard work in order to truly be loved.
This also extends to your family, friends and loved ones. Humans irrespective of gender are all unique and should be treated as such. The issue of gender inequality shouldn't be a backdrop for disrespect and condescension moreso for a healthy relationship. With such mindset, the man tends to be selfish and overlook the woman's feelings, needs and wants and this in turn leads to placing the woman on the less valuable position in the relationship.
10. A MAN THAT IS WILLING AND NONCHALANTLY BLACKMAILTS YOU WITH MONEY BECAUSE HE HAS A FINANCIAL EDGE OVER YOU. A MAN THAT THINKS AND SAYS MONEY ANSWERS ALL THINGS AND YOUR HEART IS ONE OF THEM.
Money sure brings power and affluence. It's intoxicating. But really! For real? Even over your lover? Nah that's sure a wrong idea for me. If a man blackmails you and constantly expect you to do whatever he wants from you without any form of objection or critical analysis or thinking, whether it is conducive or not, simply because he has a financial edge over you. Then that's one sure way of being in an unhealthy relationship. And ladies should definitely beware of such a man because your relationship will eventually be in huge mess.
11. A MAN THAT IS NOT WILLING TO LEAVE HIS COMFORT ZONE FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR THE RELATIONSHIP.
Nobody wants to stop doing what they love doing simply because they meet someone else, but if you decide to be in a relationship with that someone, then you should be open to change and ready to adjust especially when it could cost you your loved one if you don't. A reasonable agreement could always be reached but that's only if you decide to forfeit your comfort for a while. So if your man isn't willing to do this don't expect your relationship to be mutual and healthy in the long run.
12. A MAN THAT CREATES A STIGMA ON YOUR EVERYDAY INTERACTION WITH OTHER MEN MAKING YOU SEE ALL OTHER MEN AS THE SAME.
It's wrong to punish people for the wrongs or faults of others but as they say "bad company corrupts good manners" It is therefore pertinent to beware of a man that has even the slightest tendencies to make you want to punish other men someday for his own flaws. When you get too attached to people, you tend to see the rest of the world from their own perspective. So it's a no from me to risk getting inevitably attached to a man with the tendencies to make you see every other man from a wrong perspective.
13. A MAN WHOSE ACTIONS ARE ONLY A REINFORCEMENT FOR YOU TO CONSTANTLY EXPECT THE WORSE FROM HIM.
Everyone's got their bad days but not everyday. When a man's bad days tend to affect his everyday activities then its going to affect the relationship on a whole big level. Mistakes happen, but the good part about it is that it was a mistake and it can or could be corrected. But when these mistakes become deliberate or get to a point where you have no choice but to consciously or subconsciously expect another from your man, simply because the change element has effortlessly be ignored then it's time for a rethink in order to have a healthy relationship but that's of course if you really want one.
14. A MAN WHO CAN'T OR DOESN'T SEE THE NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN HE DOES WRONG AND MEANS IT.
Never underestimate the power in saying the word "sorry". It can do more than anticipated. One genuine apology can save the worst relationship ever and your man should be acquainted with this fact and if he isn't, you can let him in on it. But if he still decides not to share in this view because of his sheer ego, then you should know you aint even worth "a broken egg spilled on the floor".
15. A MAN WHO Is NOT SENSITIVE TO THE NEUTRAL NEEDS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER AND ONLY SENSITIVE TO HIS NEEDS IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
No one says your needs and desires should be kept aside all because of a relationship but if you've decided to be in one then you should be able to keep a balance between both yours and that of that of the relationship. A man who only cares about his demands and expectations from the relationship and not the demands and expectations of the relationship from him will eventually be toxic to that relationship.
16. A MAN WHO CLEARLY DOESN'T BELIEVE IN YOU.
Life's an experience in itself. Hurt, pain, love, joy, disappointments, could have been the order of the day in the past. But if your man has bluntly decided not to trust you or believe in who you really are as distinct from every other human from the past, for any reason over time, then he'll never be ready to risk his whole heart and self for you and what's a relationship without this risk.
17. A MAN THAT IS SCARED OF AND WON'T SUPPORT YOUR SUCCESS SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WISHES TO CONTROL YOU.
Most men's got irritional ego issues and no woman should suffer for this, not in the slightest thoughts. So if a man wishes to control you, this simply means he sees you as an object without will and values and if this sheer desire to control a follow human makes him become scared and unsupportive of your dreams and aspirations in life. He's only a coward and isn't meant to be in your life in the first place.
18. A MAN THAT NEVER SEEKS OR LISTENS TO YOUR ADVISE AND OPINION IN ANY GIVEN SITUATION.
Humans are not islands. No one can exist alone especially not in a relationship. A man should be able and willing to talk things over with you in situations so as to hear your own views and opinions. Your views and opinions should be as important and valuable as his in order to maintain a healthy relationship where no partner is forced to suffer in silence.
19. A MAN THAT THINKS AND SAYS HE'S PERFECT AND VOID OF ANY FLAWS AND THAT LEAVES YOU ALWAYS FEELING LIKE THE IMPERFECT AND THE WRONG ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
We all have our principles and values but everyone is striving towards perfection regardless. So no one, not even your man should make you feel you're in this walk alone. A real man should be able to see his own flaws just as he can clearly see yours and understand it takes you two to make the relationship work and healthy. No blackmails, no disrespect, both partner should be able to grow and learn with each other. But if your man can't do this with you and rather decides to make you feel like the wrong one in the relationship, then you're in for a very serious unhealthy love life.
20. A MAN THAT IS COMFORTABLE WITH YOU BEING UNHAPPY AND HURT.
As humans we can't help but hurt other humans involuntarily, even those we claim we really do love. But the good thing about this is, when its not on purpose, we tend to do everything within our power and discretion to make that person feel happy again so as to enable them realise we would never deliberate make them unhappy. So if you have a man that hurts you either deliberately or indeliberately and gets comfortable with it on a daily basis then you should retrace your steps and ask yourself how long you can really keep up with it.
1. A MAN THAT HAS NOTHING TO OFFER EXCEPT FOR HIS MONEY.
Money is quite important in a relationship as it ensures that the financial needs of the relationship are met but the psychological, emotional, mental, physical needs as well as the spiritual names are just as important. It takes two to fulfill these needs. But if all your man could bring to the table of your relationship are currencies what happens if he becomes financially unstable, goes bankrupt or there is a financial disaster? No one prays for or wishes for crises, but how can such relationship be sustained during the storm? Some men believe all they need to do for the success of a relationship is provide financially for the woman. Now the big question is, what happens when your woman is a financial boss? what then could be of importance except your money?
The key therefore is balance. when there is no balance in all these needs, the relationship suffers and would not be able to stand the inevitable test of times.
2. A MAN THAT ONLY WISHES TO SETTLE WITH YOU AND NOT FOR YOU.
This statement might be a little bit tricky but it is real. When a man loves a lady and wants to spend the rest of his life with her it's such a nice feeling, so he decides to settle with her but what about settling for her? When a man decides to spend his life with you but thats just all about it. Your opinion or feelings is just another new invention he's not willing to subscribe to. He wants to leave his life with you but he's not interested in discovering you as another distinct unique human and not just an extension of himself. The need to settle for you and not just with you is seen in loyalty and respect.
3. A MAN THAT WANTS YOU TO LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS AND NEVER EXPECT HIM TO IMPROVE NOT EVEN FOR HIMSELF OR YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
Everyone aspires to be loved irrespective of their differences but when there are no possibilities of bringing those differences to a point of similarities where these differences are worked upon to create oneness for the sole benefit of a relationship, crisis become inevitable. No one is saying you have to change you for anybody, but if your man as much as knows he exerts some level of negativity then he should be able to consider an improvement, first for himself and then for the health of your love life. No matter how much we need people, I don't think we need to let them in and remain with so much waste coming along.
4. A MAN THAT MAKES YOU FEEL WORTHLESS OF HIS LOVE.
No one should be able to make you feel worthless as a woman. At the first instance you shouldn't even derive your worth from a man. But because when it comes to love and relationship, we can't help the feeling of worth we feel when someone we love loves us back. Therefore, if a man in the worst or best ways as possible gives you the slightest incline that you aren't worth his love or he's doing you a favour by loving you either at the beginning or in the long run in the relationship, then you should have a rethink of being with such man, because even favours don't last forever.
5. A MAN THAT LEAVES NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIS PRESENCE AND HIS ABSENCE.
Good people may not always be appreciated when they are around but a vacuum is always obvious when they aren't. No one is perfect but if your man isn't the kind that his presence in your life makes a slightest difference, then there's a need to be worried. No one is and should be the architect of your happiness but there are days when you'd really not know how to draw or design that happiness. Then your partner should at least be an inspiration for a new idea of design for your happiness.
What's more why stay in a relationship if you can be happy all by yourself?
6. A MAN THAT MAKES YOU FEEL OR TELLS YOU YOU'RE NOT WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
I don't believe in the cliche "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you then it's yours..." If you're smart enough to let me go I should be smart enough to understand you should never have had me in the first place.
7. A MAN THAT MAKES IT CLEAR HE NEEDS YOU FOR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION.
Sex is an integral part of a relationship but unfortunately if you take away sex from many relationships, we'll find out there isn't a relationship at all. If he's with you just for sexual gratification then he could as well be with 1001 other women for the same purpose and y'all ain't even a relationship in the first place.
8. A MAN THAT ONLY TELLS YOU THE WORDS "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL OR I LOVE YOU" DURING SEX.
Many today have taken the words "I love you" to illustrate how cheap talk can be. But these words aren't just mere words. A man who tells you he loves you on a regular, tends to eventually do love you, even if he initially didn't. So when you have a man who tells you these words only in a moment of ecstasy, well, you just have to know you're in for a total hard work in order to truly be loved.
9. A MAN THAT SEES YOU TO BE LESS IMPORTANT THAN HE IS OR SAYS SO. A MAN THAT CLEARLY HAS NO REGARD FOR YOU AND FINDS NO REASON TO RESPECT YOU.
This also extends to your family, friends and loved ones. Humans irrespective of gender are all unique and should be treated as such. The issue of gender inequality shouldn't be a backdrop for disrespect and condescension moreso for a healthy relationship. With such mindset, the man tends to be selfish and overlook the woman's feelings, needs and wants and this in turn leads to placing the woman on the less valuable position in the relationship.
10. A MAN THAT IS WILLING AND NONCHALANTLY BLACKMAILTS YOU WITH MONEY BECAUSE HE HAS A FINANCIAL EDGE OVER YOU. A MAN THAT THINKS AND SAYS MONEY ANSWERS ALL THINGS AND YOUR HEART IS ONE OF THEM.
Money sure brings power and affluence. It's intoxicating. But really! For real? Even over your lover? Nah that's sure a wrong idea for me. If a man blackmails you and constantly expect you to do whatever he wants from you without any form of objection or critical analysis or thinking, whether it is conducive or not, simply because he has a financial edge over you. Then that's one sure way of being in an unhealthy relationship. And ladies should definitely beware of such a man because your relationship will eventually be in huge mess.
11. A MAN THAT IS NOT WILLING TO LEAVE HIS COMFORT ZONE FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR THE RELATIONSHIP.
Nobody wants to stop doing what they love doing simply because they meet someone else, but if you decide to be in a relationship with that someone, then you should be open to change and ready to adjust especially when it could cost you your loved one if you don't. A reasonable agreement could always be reached but that's only if you decide to forfeit your comfort for a while. So if your man isn't willing to do this don't expect your relationship to be mutual and healthy in the long run.
12. A MAN THAT CREATES A STIGMA ON YOUR EVERYDAY INTERACTION WITH OTHER MEN MAKING YOU SEE ALL OTHER MEN AS THE SAME.
It's wrong to punish people for the wrongs or faults of others but as they say "bad company corrupts good manners" It is therefore pertinent to beware of a man that has even the slightest tendencies to make you want to punish other men someday for his own flaws. When you get too attached to people, you tend to see the rest of the world from their own perspective. So it's a no from me to risk getting inevitably attached to a man with the tendencies to make you see every other man from a wrong perspective.
13. A MAN WHOSE ACTIONS ARE ONLY A REINFORCEMENT FOR YOU TO CONSTANTLY EXPECT THE WORSE FROM HIM.
Everyone's got their bad days but not everyday. When a man's bad days tend to affect his everyday activities then its going to affect the relationship on a whole big level. Mistakes happen, but the good part about it is that it was a mistake and it can or could be corrected. But when these mistakes become deliberate or get to a point where you have no choice but to consciously or subconsciously expect another from your man, simply because the change element has effortlessly be ignored then it's time for a rethink in order to have a healthy relationship but that's of course if you really want one.
14. A MAN WHO CAN'T OR DOESN'T SEE THE NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN HE DOES WRONG AND MEANS IT.
Never underestimate the power in saying the word "sorry". It can do more than anticipated. One genuine apology can save the worst relationship ever and your man should be acquainted with this fact and if he isn't, you can let him in on it. But if he still decides not to share in this view because of his sheer ego, then you should know you aint even worth "a broken egg spilled on the floor".
15. A MAN WHO Is NOT SENSITIVE TO THE NEUTRAL NEEDS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER AND ONLY SENSITIVE TO HIS NEEDS IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
No one says your needs and desires should be kept aside all because of a relationship but if you've decided to be in one then you should be able to keep a balance between both yours and that of that of the relationship. A man who only cares about his demands and expectations from the relationship and not the demands and expectations of the relationship from him will eventually be toxic to that relationship.
16. A MAN WHO CLEARLY DOESN'T BELIEVE IN YOU.
Life's an experience in itself. Hurt, pain, love, joy, disappointments, could have been the order of the day in the past. But if your man has bluntly decided not to trust you or believe in who you really are as distinct from every other human from the past, for any reason over time, then he'll never be ready to risk his whole heart and self for you and what's a relationship without this risk.
17. A MAN THAT IS SCARED OF AND WON'T SUPPORT YOUR SUCCESS SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WISHES TO CONTROL YOU.
Most men's got irritional ego issues and no woman should suffer for this, not in the slightest thoughts. So if a man wishes to control you, this simply means he sees you as an object without will and values and if this sheer desire to control a follow human makes him become scared and unsupportive of your dreams and aspirations in life. He's only a coward and isn't meant to be in your life in the first place.
18. A MAN THAT NEVER SEEKS OR LISTENS TO YOUR ADVISE AND OPINION IN ANY GIVEN SITUATION.
Humans are not islands. No one can exist alone especially not in a relationship. A man should be able and willing to talk things over with you in situations so as to hear your own views and opinions. Your views and opinions should be as important and valuable as his in order to maintain a healthy relationship where no partner is forced to suffer in silence.
19. A MAN THAT THINKS AND SAYS HE'S PERFECT AND VOID OF ANY FLAWS AND THAT LEAVES YOU ALWAYS FEELING LIKE THE IMPERFECT AND THE WRONG ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
We all have our principles and values but everyone is striving towards perfection regardless. So no one, not even your man should make you feel you're in this walk alone. A real man should be able to see his own flaws just as he can clearly see yours and understand it takes you two to make the relationship work and healthy. No blackmails, no disrespect, both partner should be able to grow and learn with each other. But if your man can't do this with you and rather decides to make you feel like the wrong one in the relationship, then you're in for a very serious unhealthy love life.
20. A MAN THAT IS COMFORTABLE WITH YOU BEING UNHAPPY AND HURT.
As humans we can't help but hurt other humans involuntarily, even those we claim we really do love. But the good thing about this is, when its not on purpose, we tend to do everything within our power and discretion to make that person feel happy again so as to enable them realise we would never deliberate make them unhappy. So if you have a man that hurts you either deliberately or indeliberately and gets comfortable with it on a daily basis then you should retrace your steps and ask yourself how long you can really keep up with it.
21. A MAN THAT CAN DELIBERATELY HURT YOUR FEELINGS JUST TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF ESPECIALLY WHEN HE'S HURT TOO.
Seriously this is a huge no! Paybacks sometimes feels good, yeah! but they sometimes also show how weak you are. And if your man decides to transfer hurt, pain, or anger to you on a daily basis whether you're at fault or not just because he needs someone to get hurt also to feel better of himself. you'll only end up suffering in a really toxic and selfish relationship.
22. A MAN WHOSE COMMUNICATION TENDENCIES IN THE RELATIONSHIP IS NEXT TO NONE.
The role of communication in a relationship cannot be overemphasized. Lot of things go wrong, wrong impressions are created, doubts and uncertainties mostly emanate from poor or lack of communication. Whether your man is an extrovert or an introvert, he should be able to communicate to you in particular at least for the sake of your relationship. A level of companionship should be created whereby you both can talk about everything and anything even if its for a while. Without this, your relationship will suffer confusions and wrong ideas of what is and what is not.
NOTE: These assertions are for emphasis. Ensure there's a critical understanding and evidence of these signs and attributes in your relationship before taking a decision, as humans are dynamic.
Thanks and wish you a health relationship.
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